Reflections...

   One week ago I left Uganda.  Now everything seems surreal.  I was so ready to get on a plane and come home, but now this place I call home feels so foreign to me.  Don't get me wrong, I am happy to have running water that I can drink and brush my teeth with, electricity, food that is not 100% carbohydrate and roads that are not chaotic... But something in me has changed that is hard to put words on.  It was easy to go back to work and slip right back into my role there, but everything else has been difficult.  Sleeping for one is difficult when your body is used to the other side of the planet.  Trying to be 'normal' and social does not feel right. First world 'problems' make me want to scream. The things that people get upset about seem ridiculous to me.  I watched HGTV the other day and it made me sick to hear people (all of which I guarantee are in the top 1 % of the world's wealthiest people- just like you and me) with beautiful homes complaining about how terrible life is because their really nice kitchens are not exactly what they want so they have to have them ripped out and replaced with a newer style.

  There is so much I don't understand. I'm crying a lot and don't understand it.  So much that is just not ok. My brain wants to reconcile the two worlds, but it's just not reconcilable.  I keep thinking about a little boy I met my first week in Uganda.  He had HIV/AIDS/TB and was extremely neglected/malnourished. His story is that his family thought he was a curse on their family and so they planned to sacrifice him, this process was started by starving him.  He was too weak to even smile or make any facial expression and when I touched his back all I could feel were bones. Somehow he ended up at a children's home where I met him two weeks later.  He was fed and clothed and loved and was put on ARV's and TB meds. But it wasn't enough to save him and he died a few weeks ago. I also saw a little girl who has just stuck with me.  She was maybe 3 or 4 years old and came with her loving father to the outreach clinic we did the first week. This little girl (who lucky for me was already wearing a mask) had spots of blood on her white shirt and had been coughing blood for 2 years. When I told her father that she most likely has TB and needs further testing, he was concerned and you could tell he really loved his daughter. He asked me: 'When she was born she didn't have this and now she does, how did she get it?' So I explained how TB is transmitted, but was just taken a back by the reality that this loving father who wants the best for his daughter just didn't have the access to medical care and education to be able to help her.

  For every story like the ones above, there are stories of victory and triumph and love winning. But for some reason my heart has just been mourning for the things I don't yet understand, the things that don't make sense. I think that's why I keep crying. This morning I was reminded of this passage in the bible where Jesus' friend Lazarus died and 3 days later Jesus raised him from the dead.  But, first Jesus wept.  He cried over his friends death  and out of outrage over the reality of sin and death in this world. It's not how it is supposed to be, it's not how it was in Genesis 1. But Jesus didn't only weep over it, he also came to do something about it. He came to fix it and make it right. Because of Jesus, death has lost it's sting and is not the end.  His story is grace... That boy is so much better off now, than in the difficult life he would have faced on this planet.  I still weep over it, but now I know I'm not alone. Jesus weeps with me over this and all the sin and brokenness of this world. It's right for me to cry over the things that are not ok. Years ago I read this quote by Bob Pierce that sums up what I'm feeling: "Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God".  It hurts, but somehow it is good.

  The problems of this world are too big for me to solve.  Even my best efforts fall short at making things right, but I still have a role to play. We can't fail to do something just because we can't do everything.  I'm just thankful that it's not all up to me.

   I went for a bike ride this afternoon and saw tons of beauty and purple flowers everywhere. In the midst of all that is breaking my heart, the beauty of creation is comforting and reminding me of royalty, majesty and the bigger story we are living in. The one where love wins and life comes out of death.

This song has been on repeat for me so I thought I'd share it... There is plenty that I don't understand, but I believe that Farther Along...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IctD9l4F-ag

JaJa's village

We made a trip to JaJa's (Grandmother's) house and met some of Clinton's relatives and friends of the family. Some were great and some were a little weird. I really liked his mother's brother who was able to fill in a few details about Clinton's early years. He even has a photo of Clinton's mother he is going to try to get to Lauri while she's here.

It was a full day. So neat to meet Clinton's family and some other randoms. There were definitely a few TIA moments... We went with half the relatives from the city we were supposed to because no one had thought ahead enough to check them out of boarding school. Then we left another little girl somewhere because we didn't know she was supposed to come and had to go back for her. We got lost more than once on the way. Clinton's uncle introduced himself by saying 'Clinton is my son'. This was a little scary since we have never know who his father is. He went on to explain that he was his mother's brother who had cared for Clinton's mother while she was on her death bed and she entrusted Clinton into his care. But, he couldn't care for Clinton because he was still in school himself. Then when it was time to leave someone tried to give us an extra kid and asked us to sponsor a kid for school who is not even school aged. Also, JaJa wants doors and windows... The list goes on. White people really are viewed as walking ATM's here. It's kind of annoying but with the degree of poverty that exists it is understandable. Lauri & I were talking about it last night, that we need to be careful. Its kind of like that children's story, 'If you give a mouse a muffin' ...then he'll want-----. Giving too much can make the problem worse and prevent people from taking responsibility for their own lives. I am reminded of that verse in Philippians 'And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best...' It's harder than it sounds.

My parents and I are gearing up to leave this evening and head back to the US. I have lots to process and plenty that I don't understand yet about this trip. Lately this song by Josh Garrels 'Farther Along' has been speaking to me. It's good, look it up.

We've been busy

We've been busy doing all kinds of things. Checked out the thread of life compound. Did a med clinic near the school where Clinton learned to catch and eat termites from the master (Morgan). My parents got to meet the family of Lilian, the girl they sponsor, unfortunately she had malaria and wasn't feeling well that day. But with some prayers and some meds she was feeling much better at school a few days later when we did a little Bradt team teaching. We capitalized on my parents experience and taught about airplanes and space shuttles. I'm not sure if they were more amazed at the pictures or the iPad my mom was showing them on. Clinton taught the kids how to make paper airplanes and had a contest who's when the farthest. Crazy that for two of the classes airplanes flew right over us as we were finishing. We had a random goat wander into the school compound... Oh, and I met this kid who came to the clinic for treatment of worms. He is named Tif after my friend Tiffany Russell, crazy.

I've been cooking some with the ladies and Christine has mastered marinara and is so proud. That's all for now. Everyone is doing well. 2 months is a long time and I've been really ready to go home for a while now, but also enjoying the experience with my family. 4 1/2 days till we fly to the US. Not that I'm counting...

Finally, My Family is Here!!!

6/14/13

They flew in yesterday and we took a walking tour of Nansana. Everyone now knows where to find bottled water, soda, chapati, avacado, cow intestine and tripe if they need it.

Between yesterday and today, they have completed the official CLD orientation and got a sweet tour of the school and kids house.

After school we spent a little time at the kids house. It didn't take Clinton much time to climb a tree and start throwing down guava and then join in a pick up soccer game. The rest of us spent some time reading to the little ones. JaJa Dave was a hit. Lauri realized the book she was reading was from our friends the Girtons . Then we went back to the school to watch as they do this great program called 'saving circles' basically a mini- bank where they learn to save money and have access to borrowing money they have saved with others when needs arise. It's a really cool program.

We met two families from Denver that just arrived at the guest house and seem really great. It's a good thing I'm used to the Steamboat lifestyle of people moving in and out of my life on a regular basis. They seem really great, looking forward to getting to know them.

My parents are adjusting like champs, although I'm pretty sure they still have a little jet lag. We figured out my dad is currently holding the title of the oldest CLD volunteer ever to make a trip to Uganda.

Some photos from the school & kids house

Kids enjoying the playground.

Learning a new song from the CCU crew before they flew out.

Boda driver got smart and put an umbrella on his... Shade is nice, but doubt he can go very fast.

Kids dinner is posho (cornflower mash) and beans. The spoon looks a bit like a boat paddle.

Bath-time...

Morgan's brother Dylan arrived and the kids love him. Sempa Eddie in the pink is a favorite of most. His mom is in the thread of life program and made his sweet outfit out of extra fabric.

Austin with Fred. Fred has HIV and used to live in a rough situation in the slum with very poor sanitation. I remember meeting him years ago at a med clinic we did there and my heart ached for him. So cool to see him in a safe environment, so happy and thriving... He has hope and a future... His mourning has been turned into dancing and he is full of joy.

My family is on their way. Can't wait to see them tomorrow.

Highlights

Monday I headed out with Gladys the nurse from WCIA to do a little teaching about HIV/AIDS at another local school. The CCU team left early for a day of fun rafting the Nile followed by a day of debriefing before they head to the US tomorrow. :(

Today we went to the Katonga slum to meet up with a CU Denver grad student class to host a medical clinic. I got to work alongside Sue Birch who lives part time in Steamboat. This is the slum that a lot of the women who go through the program at thread of life are from. It's also where Clinton's aunt lives. I was hoping to see her today, but did not.

Oh, PS- photos show how to carry twins in Uganda and I found a really big avocado. :) That is one thing I will miss about this place. Best avocados ever!

Life in Kaliro and beyond

Such a full week, its hard to put words on all of it. There are too many stories to tell them all, but here are a few...

We spent the first half of the week in rural Kaliro. I had been there in 2010 and kind of expected it to be like the rest of my life, always changing. I didn't expect to be remembered. But, not much has changed in this place and many did remember me. It probably helped that my picture with a bunch of girls and tons of kids was hanging on the wall at the CLD bunkhouse. I recognized many faces, though some children were slightly larger. The church that was tiny with mud walls and a grass roof now has a metal roof half done and no walls. Time moves slow and fast at the same time there. No electricity, no running water, no internet... Seems like there is not much to do, yet always things to be done. Just pumping water from the well down the road and carrying it back so it can be used for cooking and washing is a process. One that us muzungu's don't do as gracefully as Ugandan's. Our efforts at carrying water were met by laughs from the villagers. I think one girl actually had a local kid behind her poking her butt trying to get her to go faster. Those jerry cans are heavier than they look. We had no agenda beyond just surviving and hanging out with people and lots and lots of kids that always were hanging around, hungry for attention. Did lots of reading and just hanging out. Someone put it well by saying village life is boring and exhausting at the same time.

The kids in the village are a little different than the kids at our school. The best way to describe them is like a pack of wild animals. Fun, beautiful, crazy... And you might just get mauled if you show up with food or crayons or a drum. Tribal mentality quickly takes over.

Rita is one girl that I remember from last time. She is deaf and sassy! We went to her house across the street shortly after getting to the village. When I arrived there was a guy holding a live turkey upside down by the legs. He tried to get me to hold it to see how heavy it was, but there is nothing in me that wanted to do that. Then Jeremy comments about his first trip to this village when they could hear the mom giving birth to Rita's younger sister next door. They run inside and quickly return with a photo album that may or may not have had a bay watch star on the front and open to a picture with my good friend Aly holding this newborn. So crazy!!! Rita is such an artist. She will draw pictures in the dirt to communicate. She kept drawing pictures of a bicycle. I wasn't sure why until I saw her a few days later returning from school (which is far, at least 2 + miles away so she can learn sign language) on her bicycle. You can tell it is her prize possession. Shiny clean and black and at least 10 sizes too big for her. She rides it remarkable well. Sometimes walking then gets a running start and hops through the middle of the triangle to pedal. Arms high in the air to reach the handle bars. It's pretty incredible and she is so proud and happy to be in school.

So much more, but I need to go so here's the bullet points of the rest of the week.
-Thurs. spent a day at the school/ medical clinic then had a goodbye party for the family that just spent 10 mo here. Kids got ice cream and started a water fight. Happy kids!!!
-Fri. Medical clinic day at thread of life was the first one we have done there and was a huge success.
-Sat. I spent cooking with the ladies at the guest house and taught them how to make marinara and avocado pesto. They were so excited. As was I. I love cooking and medicine. Two stellar days for me.
-Sun. Church for the first time since I've been here and got to see old friends. Then rest and a good long balcony chat with Julie.

I'm finally settling into life here. Loving the team from CCU and will be sad to see them go weds, but then thurs my family arrives. :)

Lots going on in my heart, it's hard to put words on but it's good. Letting go of bitterness, hurt and pain. Choosing to forgive- others and myself. Realizing I don't need luxury/comfort/security (the things that were so hard to give up to come here)... I could live with nothing in the village and be fine. God meets all my needs and I have nothing to worry about.